Commit To Be Happy

Today, why not made a personal commitment to be happy, in spite of what life hands over to you. You have to admit that there are too many things over which you have no control. The only thing you can do is to stop allowing them to make dents in your spirit.

Happiness is not something that others can take from you. It's something that you would have to throw away on your own.

There will be times when things don't turn out the way you want them to. Your best friend at work may turn out to be a power-hungry corporate animal that backstabs you at every opportunity. The promotion you worked so hard for may go to someone else. Your partner might decide to leave me, a day before we are due to go for a vacation together. You may lose most of your savings in a market crash.

These are things that can happen to the most loving, compassionate, careful and reasonable person. But after the initial pain and shock, the decision whether or not to let yourself languish in despair is entirely up to you. You can allow misfortune to form the bulk of your life, or you can choose to leave what's past in the past, and move on.

One's friendly and caring behavior towards others should not be motivated by the thought of equally kind and affectionate responses. You understand yourself best, and regardless of how reasonably and responsibly you live your life, there will be people who won't see your point of view or share your motivations.

People have the right to act in any way they see fit. I don't have the right to judge whether their behavior is acceptable or not. They have to bear the responsibility for their own actions, and so do you. By feeling sorry for yourself, you are simply continuing the work for them, long after they have dealt their blow. You have to decide that, as far as possible, you will not allow these people to disturb your mind.

There are many things for which you can be grateful. There are yet unexplored experiences in which you can find enrichment and meaning. There are yet others who will like you for who you are, and in spite of who you are. If you spend my time being resentful and miserable, you are denying yourself the satisfaction of enjoying what this life has to offer.

There are enough unhappy people in this world who punish themselves and others constantly in a bid to find redress and compensation. But there is no satisfaction in retaliation and revenge. It's a waste of time and spirit.

"To be happy we must not be too concerned with others."

Albert Camus

Cluster B Personality Disorders

The DSM-IV-TR (2000) defines a personality disorder as:
"An enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations the individuals culture (and is manifested in two or more of his or her areas of mental life:) cognition, affectivity, interpersonal functioning, or impulse control."

Such a pattern is rigid, long-term (stable), and recurrent. It manifests itself in all areas of life (it is pervasive). It is not owing to substance-abuse or a medical condition (such as head trauma). It renders the subject dysfunctional "in social , occupational, or other important areas" and this impairment causes distress.

In the DSM, there are 10 distinct personality disorders (Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal, Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, Narcissistic, Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-compulsive) and one catchall category, Personality Disorders NOS (Not Otherwise Specified).

Personality disorders with marked similarities are grouped into clusters.

Cluster A (the Odd or Eccentric Cluster) includes the Paranoid, Schizoid, and Schizotypal Personality Disorders.

Cluster B (the Dramatic, Emotional, or Erratic Cluster) is comprised of the Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders.


Cluster C (the Anxious or Fearful Cluster) encompasses the Avoidant, Dependent, and Obsessive-compulsive Personality Disorders.

The Clusters are not valid theoretical constructs and have never been verified or rigorously tested. They constitute merely a convenient shorthand and so provide little additional insight into their component personality disorders.

We start our tour with Cluster B because the personality disorders it includes are ubiquitous. You are far more likely to have come across a Borderline or a Narcissist or a Psychopath than across a Schizotypal, for instance.

First, an overview of Cluster B:

Borderline Personality Disorder is marked by instability. The patient is a roller-coaster of emotions (this is called emotional lability). She (most Borderlines are women) fails to maintain stable relationships and dramatically attaches to, clings, and violently detaches from a seemingly inexhaustible stream of lovers, spouses, intimate partners, and friends. Self-image is volatile, one's sense of self-worth is fluctuating and precarious, affect is unpredictable and inappropriate, and impulse control is impaired (the patient's threshold of frustration is low).

The Antisocial Personality Disorder involves contemptuous disregard for others. The psychopath ignores or actively violates other people's rights, choices, wishes, preferences, and emotions.

The Narcissistic Personality Disorder is founded on a sense of fantastic grandiosity, brilliance, perfection, and power (omnipotence). The narcissist lacks empathy, is exploitative, and compulsively seeks narcissistic supply (attention, admiration, adulation, being feared, etc.) to buttress his False Self - a confabulated "person" aimed at inspiring awe and extracting compliance and subservience from others.

Finally, the Histrionic Personality Disorder also revolves around attention-seeking but is usually confined to sexual conquests and displays of the histrionic's capacity to irresistibly seduce others.

Characteristics of Soul

At the dawn of spring, I am reminded by my children the joy of anticipating new life.

They will usually see a flower or two that has made its way through the soil to a world beyond itself. What starts out as a seedling or bulb is transformed by nature's capacity to evolve.

Inside each of us lies dormant an awareness, an identity, an ability to grow beyond what we appear to be. Every moment, we are being challenged by others and by circumstances to create a life that exceeds our present state of living.

To move toward our highest good takes a willingness on our part to let go of what we know to what can be known in and through us. You and I are part of the Created Order we see around us, and we are participants in Creating Order out of what we have been given to care for.

With this in mind, let us turn to ways our soul can be described in the characteristics that make up a flower:

1. The Ground.

The ground nurtures, protects, and gives birth to a flower. Inside the womb of the ground, life is taking root long before we can see it. Because we cannot see a flower that has been planted in the earth, does not mean life is not being created. To be full participants in our world means to be fully connected and rooted in the world we have been given.

2. The Stem.

The stem begins its growth in the earth below and into the sky above. This part of the flower is the connecting characteristic of the plant. Much like humanity, we are in this world without being fully of it. This creates a sacredness to our lives. It is our unique ability to live and grow in a way no one ever has, is, or ever will.

3. The Flower.

In full bloom, a flower is the illumination of all the life that has preceded it. The radiance and color that pour out of it create life. Notice the next time you look at a flower how you are affected by it. You may notice your heart open and be filled with joy. Or, you may notice more energy and clarity in your vision for being blessed with great beauty.

4. The Spirit of a Flower.

The spirit of a flower is the life force moving in and through it. It is the essence of a flower that identifies with your spirit. This part of you opens from the inside out and becomes ONE with the spirit of a flower. It is the same energy that runs in and through you. Like a flower, you begin to radiate your own soul from the essence of your own being.

 


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Each spring, take the time to notice the part of you opening up to new life. Just like flowers, we grow from the inside out. What illuminates in our life began inside us. We nurture these inner qualities of attention until they eventually take root and grow into our daily lives. The growth that follows is created from what we attend to or hold our attention on within us.

Like the pedals of a flower opening to the world around it, we create a presence of awareness. In full bloom, the beauty or the lack thereof touches the lives of everyone around us. As our inner patterns of attention move through us, the world illuminates the seeds of awareness contained within us for so long. Here, a life is created. It is the life of our soul.

                                                                                                                 Samuel Oliver, author of, "What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living"

Can't Quit Gambling? Don't Bet On It

A preoccupation with gambling may cause some people to risk more than money. They may be gambling their health, happiness and their family's welfare.

That's the opinion of experts who define problem gambling as gambling behavior that causes a disruption in any major area of a person's life. It's estimated that 2 to 3 percent of the U.S. population suffers from a gambling problem. It can affect men or women of any age, race or religion, regardless of their social status.

Some of the warning signs to watch out for include:

• Preoccupied with gambling and unable to stop

• Gambling to win back what you've lost

• Lying to hide time spent gambling or unpaid debts.

Fortunately, an organization is working to ensure help is available. The National Council on Problem Gambling is the national advocate for programs and services to assist problem gamblers and their families.

Its mission is to increase public awareness of pathological gambling and to ensure the widespread availability of treatment for problem gamblers and their families. It also operates the Problem Gambling Helpline Network, a nationwide link to resources.

"A problem gambler doesn't need to wait to 'hit bottom' before asking for help," says Keith Whyte, executive director, the National Council on Problem Gambling. "Our Helpline can be used by anyone. When their problem is your problem, you as a loved one can call the Helpline to learn what help is available."

One self-described problem gambler who turned to the Helpline for help characterized its services as being invaluable. According to Sandy Yakim, a 55-year-old teacher whose gambling increased after several personal setbacks, the Helpline provided her with emotional support and information, counseling and advice on how to get help.

Said Yakim, "I have now been clean for over a year. I have money in my savings account. I can shop a little bit. Life is good, I am happy, I have found my joy once again. The Helpline is invaluable. They provide a shoulder to cry on, but more importantly advice on help."

Can a Dream Tell us of the Future?

Much has been written regarding dreams and their meanings or purpose. Mankind has been fascinated with our dreams since the first dreamer awoke and wondered about what their visions meant. Since ancient times we have looked to our dreams to find signs of what our future holds. The first written dreams we know of were in 4000 BC. The earliest writings we have on dreams are primarily texts on their religious and spiritual significance.

Most people will spend about one third of their lives asleep. Our dreams are a real part of us but too often they are disregarded. Dreams can give us insight and understanding of our personal lives. They will help us to understand our past, present, and sometimes our future. All we need to do is to pay attention to our dreams and get to know them.

Dreams can hold a message for the future.

We have different types of dreams. Often our dreams consist of imagery from our most pressing thoughts and/or personal experiences. Sometimes, however, our dreams can be special. Our dreams can communicate with us if we allow them too. All we need to is listen.

I believe that there are two main types of prophetic dreams.

Those that come to us from our "deeper" self, who is much more aware of certain things than we are on a conscious level, and those who may potentially have come from an "outside" source.

Here is an example from my own dream experiences:

I dreamed of death. All I could remember from the dream was seeing a hand laying in gravels. The most noticeable thing was the ring on the hand. It was my ring. I recognized it without any doubt. Even though this was the only image I could recall from the nightmare I knew that the dream was about a death. I could feel it strongly when I woke up. I had all but forgotten the events of the dream but the emotions were still vivid.

The ring was an Army Boot Camp ring made very similar to a class ring. After I had the dream I never wore it again. Eventually I sold it to a friend of mine who had attended the same boot camp. A few years later I received a call. My friend had been murdered. He was found laying in rocks and dirt with that ring on his hand.

Did my dream forewarn me of this event? I think it is a possibility. What was the dream trying to communicate to me? I had assumed that the dream was about my death. I had also assumed that the ring was somehow a participant in my death. I stopped wearing the ring as though that would prevent the warned death. Perhaps the dream was simply telling me that my friend would die with that ring on his hand.

Whenever we have a dream that we consider to be prophetic or to have a "meaning" we are faced with the difficult task of interpreting just what the dream means. Dream Symbols most often have very definite meanings but these meanings can vary widely from one person to the next. That is why we cannot rely too much on definitions given in Dream Symbol Dictionaries.

In order to understand the meaning of the symbols within our own dreams we must come to a better and deeper understanding of ourselves. We have to learn what these symbols mean to us because that is how our dreaming mind sees them.

Anything within your dream can be a symbol. An example of a symbol in a dream is a snake. A snake can have many different meanings to different people. As with all other dream symbols they can also have a different meaning for the same person at different times in their life. You also have to look at the symbol in the context that it appeared. What other symbols were present in the dream?

The best way to gain a better understanding of what your dream symbols mean to you is to develop your own dream symbol dictionary. Keep as detailed of a dream journal as you can. Don't just write down a narrative of what occurred but record your feelings and emotions too. As you continue to write in your journal and re-read your previous entries you will begin to see parallels with your dreams and your life. Gradually you will be able to recognize what the symbols in your dreams are really saying to you.

Axes of Personality Disorders

Personality disorders are like tips of icebergs. They rest on a foundation of causes and effects, interactions and events, emotions and cognitions, functions and dysfunctions that together form the patient and make him or her what s/he is. 

The DSM uses five axes to analyze, classify, and describe these data. The patient (or subject) presents himself to a mental health diagnostician, is evaluated, tests are administered, questionnaires fulfilled, and a diagnosis rendered. The diagnostician uses the DSM's five axes to "make sense" and meaningfully organize of the information he had gathered in this process.

Axis I demands that he specify all the patient's clinical mental health problems that are not personality disorders or mental retardation. Thus, Axis I includes issues first diagnosed in infancy, childhood, or adolescence; cognitive problems (e.g., delirium, dementia, amnesia); mental disorders due to a medical condition (for instance, dysfunctions caused by brain injury or metabolic diseases); substance-related disorders; schizophrenia and psychosis; mood disorders; anxiety and panic; somatoform disorders; factitious disorders; dissociative disorders; sexual paraphilias; eating disorders; impulse control problems and adjustment issues.

We will discuss Axis II at length in our next articles. It comprises personality disorders and mental retardation (interesting conjunction!).

If the patient suffers from medical conditions that affect his state of mind and mental health, these are noted under Axis III. Some psychological problems are directly caused by medical issues (hyperthyroidism causes depression). In other cases, the latter are concurrent with or exacerbate the former. Virtually all biological illnesses may provoke changes in the patient's psychological make-up, behavior, cognitive functioning, and emotional landscape.

But the machinery of life - both body and "soul" - is reactive as well as proactive. It is molded by one's psychosocial circumstances and environment. Life crises, stresses, deficiencies, and inadequate support all conspire to destabilize and, if sufficiently harsh, ruin one's mental health. The DSM enumerates dozens of adverse influences that should be recorded by the diagnostician under Axis IV: death in the family or of a close friend; health problems; divorce; remarriage; abuse; doting or smothering parenting; neglect; sibling rivalry; social isolation; discrimination; life cycle transition (such as retirement); unemployment; workplace bullying; housing or economic problems; limited or no access to health care services; incarceration or litigation; traumas and many more events and situations.

Finally, the DSM recognizes that the clinician's direct impression of the patient is at least as important as any "objective" data he may gather during the evaluation phase. Axis V allows the diagnostician to record his judgment of "the individual's overall level of functioning". This, admittedly, is a vague remit, open to ambiguity and bias. To counter these risk, the DSM recommends that mental health professionals use the Global assessment of Functioning (GAF) Scale. Merely administering this structured test forces the diagnostician to formulate his views rigorously and to weed out cultural and social prejudices.

Having gone through this long and convoluted process, the therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker now has a complete picture of the subject's life, personal history, medical background, environment, and psyche. She is now ready to move on and formally diagnose a personality disorder with or without co-morbid (concurrent) conditions.

But what is a personality disorder? There are so many of them and they strike us as either so similar or so dissimilar! What are the strands that bind them together? What are the common features of all personality disorders?

Are You Under Mind Control? Why Not?

How do you determine if you're under mind control?

It's an interesting question that you can pass around at a party or among friends.

The fact is that you just don't know. In fact everything you are doing could be a response that fits perfectly into another persons plans.

If you take that as a possibility you could simply just give up and yield to the fact that NOTHING is truly within your control but there is a healthier option.

It's quite simple, just ask yourself "Am I acting or am I reacting?"

If you are reacting then you are respond to something outside of your control and trying to gain some control back, a potential sign of some form of mind control.

No one likes to feel powerless and out of control.

The solution? To do something intentional and positive that is NOT a response to the external environment.

I want to emphasize the word "positive" here because an intentional negative/destructive act has to act on or destroy something pre-existing. It would be then something to which you are reacting.

This is much harder that it might seem because it requires four qualities that most "sheeple" find hard to implement. They are:

1) Thought.

People don't like to think, in general. That is why we have an unconscious (reactive) mind so it will do most of our actions for us. Most of us rely on it entirely too much or in the wrong way and allow it to dictate our every move by letting our emotions guide us. Advertisers, politicians, spouses and other manipulators know this and often seek to control you by fear, anger, threats and frustration. Thought requires that you determine what would be your best emotional response.

2 ) Creativity.

Creativity can be difficult because it requires taking action that is not linked to some external stimulus. This, of course requires thought, but one can train themselves and their unconscious mind to be very creative. Think of what Salvador Dali was able to do. Nothing he did in the field of art could easily be compared to anything prior to him. The same was true with his life.

3) Action.

Action takes effort. People (sheeple?) tend to not want to act instead they react and conserve their energy. What they don't understand is that by taking creative action in the manner described creates energy. Going back to Salvidor Dali as an example, his life was FULL of energy that he created. When his peers in the high brow field of art tried to control him he would turn his response into a new form of performance art. In so doing he would baffle the people trying to influence him and entertain everyone else.

4) Courage.

Why courage? Because when people recognize that they cannot control you through fear and anger they will severely escalate their attempts through threats and maybe even violence.

To free yourself from any form of mind control is no easy task. But nothing so rewarding is easy.

When I wrote the book "Perfected Mind Control - The Unauthorized Black Book of Hypnotic Mind Control" I wanted to appeal to peoples most base desires for control and then turn the whole process into one of creating greater freedom, flexibility and joy. Throughout the book I encourage the reader to do the hypnotic processes on themselves first in order to truly understand the power.

When any smart person would find out is that there is nothing evil and controlling about "Perfected Mind Control - The Unauthorized Black Book of Hypnotic Mind Control" instead it's about personal liberation.